


Five Companions (Six, Really) Who Never Gave Ten Heartburn (Well, Hardly Ever)

by Mara



Category: DCU, Doctor Who
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-17
Updated: 2009-11-17
Packaged: 2017-10-03 06:01:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mara/pseuds/Mara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is DW series 2 and takes place at various points in DC continuity. None of them recent. So there.</p><p>This was written for Rheanna27's Doctor Who Multifandom "Choose Your  Own Companion" ficathon. I chose DCU but couldn't decide who to write  about (no pun intended). MsCongeniality suggested I could solve the  problem by doing five drabbles. And she was right :D</p>
    </blockquote>





	Five Companions (Six, Really) Who Never Gave Ten Heartburn (Well, Hardly Ever)

**Author's Note:**

> This is DW series 2 and takes place at various points in DC continuity. None of them recent. So there.
> 
> This was written for Rheanna27's Doctor Who Multifandom "Choose Your Own Companion" ficathon. I chose DCU but couldn't decide who to write about (no pun intended). MsCongeniality suggested I could solve the problem by doing five drabbles. And she was right :D

"This won't do," the Doctor said, drumming his fingers on the console.

"You've never faced this before?" his new companion asked.

"There was Harry Sullivan, but nobody thought of him that way, so it didn't matter." The Doctor sighed. "Can't I use your first name?"

"I'd really prefer you don't, outside the bounds of your time machine," the cowled man said.

"I doubt the residents of Arebilis Six care about your secret identity."

"It's a matter of principle."

The Doctor sputtered. "But I can't have people confusing me with my companion!"

"I'm sure we'll think of something," Doctor Mid-Nite said.

* * *

"A time machine? That's so cool! I wish Robin were here, he'd think it was cool. Can I visit my grandfather?" Bart asked, racing around the blue box fast enough to create a mini-tornado.

The Doctor unlocked the door with more force than absolutely necessary. "No."

"Please?"

"No!"

"Please?"

"NO!" The Doctor took a deep breath. "The last time I let someone do that, I nearly caused the end of the universe."

Bart skidded to a stop in front of him, blinking his wide yellow eyes. "Oh that? We do that all the time. So can I see my grandfather?"

* * *

"This is your time machine?" Brainiac 5 asked, staring into the shadowy depths.

"Yes." Tucking his hands into his pockets, the Doctor smiled. "The TARDIS is dimensionally transcendental, which--"

"Means it's bigger inside than outside, I know." Brainiac shook his head. "I just can't believe it's so untidy. How do you ever repair anything?"

The Doctor frowned. "She's very sensitive. I'll thank you not to insult her."

"You're jealous of my twelfth-level intelligence."

"You're jealous because my time machine is bigger than yours. Now do you want to go home or should I dump you in the Middle Ages?"

* * *

The Doctor shoved the two girls through the door, slamming it behind him. "No need to be alarmed," he said, "just an alien invasion. I'll have that--"

He forgot what he was going to say as the two teenagers pulled a bow and quiver, knives, and a machete from under their beds.

They looked at him, then at each other, expressions so innocent as to be suspicious. "It's been quiet around here, Greta," one said.

"Too quiet, Cissie," the other said solemnly.

"I think I'm ready for some action."

"Me too."

The Doctor grinned at them. "I love humans."

* * *

With his ability to lurk in broad daylight, it wasn't challenging for Batman to lurk in the TARDIS.

The Doctor peered into the control room shadows, shaking his head in disbelief. "If you don't trust me, why'd you choose to come along?"

"If an alien as powerful as you chooses to visit Earth, I want to know why." Batman crossed his arms.

The Doctor snorted. "You're figuring out how to incapacitate me if I'm dangerous, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"I remember," the Doctor said in a pensive tone, "when my biggest problem with companions was their tendency to sprain an ankle."


End file.
